Young men need compassion when engaging with health care providers

The state of men's health is a topic that warrants urgent attention.

In Australia, men face higher rates of suicide and mortality from preventable diseases, and have shorter life expectancies than women.

A key contributor to these health outcomes is a trend of disengagement from healthcare services that often begins when men are adolescents. 

When it comes to men seeking help for health issues, much of the public conversation focuses on what young men think or believe.

However, clinicians are often faced with a more practical question: how do you effectively engage a young man who may appear reluctant to seek help?

Looksmaxxing: a new threat to men’s wellbeing

Given current narratives, it can be easy to rush to judgement and be dismissive when faced with a young man who presents as reticent or is influenced by potentially harmful beliefs such as 'looksmaxxing'.

Looksmaxxing is an online subculture focused on radically optimizing and maximizing one's physical attractiveness. 

The trend has potentially dangerous health consequences.

Young men caught up in 'looksmaxxing' can be driven, largely by unscrupulous social media profiles, to take unprescribed and unregulated pharmaceutical interventions to reach their goals.

Therefore, finding ways to encourage young men to engage with primary health care services, such as general practitioners (GPs), is an important public health issue. 

Compassion is key

A key finding from new research from the University of Sydney's Prevention Research Collaboration is that compassion is an important tool when working with young men because internally, they are likely experiencing feelings of shame and fear of judgement. 

This is particularly important for clinicians to keep in mind because their interactions with young men leave a big impression (for better or worse). 

As part of his PhD research, Robert Palmer and colleagues at the University of Sydney began by looking at what the international research had to say about young men’s help-seeking. 

Then they analysed the most recent national data on Australian men’s health from the National Men’s Survey conducted by Healthy Male.

Finally, researchers listened directly to 30 young men from across Australia, sitting down with them in interviews to hear how these challenges play out in real life. 

"It took me 9 to 12 months to even consider going to the doctor. I kept telling myself I’d just fix it myself, but I felt embarrassed — like I’d be judged."  (Participant 6, 25 years old)

Piece by piece, this process helped build a clearer picture of what’s going wrong and how we can better support young men's help seeking in Australia. 

Overcoming fear and shame

The first key finding of the new research reveals young men often experience significant fear and shame when approaching help‑seeking. 

They were worried about what seeking help might mean about them and how they may be negatively evaluated or received by others (including healthcare professionals). 

"I see it as a sign of maybe either embarrassment or weakness to reach out to others." (Participant 7, 28 years old)

In the current public discourse around masculinity, it can be easy for clinicians to interpret a young man who presents as guarded, arrogant, or apathetic through a lens of cynicism or “toxic masculinity.”

"You don't want to give off any signs that maybe you're someone who's maybe dangerous to be around or not confident or not as fully functioning as you should be." (Participant 7, 28 years old)

These findings suggest that, despite these external presentations, internally young men are often scared. 

Holding this framing in mind can make it much easier for clinicians to respond from a place of curiosity and compassion rather than suspicion or judgment.

Positive interactions with a GP leave lasting impacts

The second key finding is health professionals have enormous influence through the quality of even brief interactions. 

Young men consistently described how feeling listened to, taken seriously and treated with respect had a corrective and lasting effect, sometimes counteracting previous negative help‑seeking experiences. 

The research found qualities such as attentiveness, patience, authenticity, and compassion mattered more than shared demographics like gender or age. 

What this looks like in practice is an interaction in the consulting room which feels authentic and relatively informal, where the clinician shows they are genuinely caring by being attentive and non‑judgemental. 

"[Service providers] were very friendly. They were very supportive and weren't very judgmental or pushy… like they let me speak about what I like when I felt comfortable with it." (Participant 24, 22 years old)

Validation and normalisation were important, but not in ways that pathologised or “fragilised” young men; rather, interactions should encourage agency and ongoing engagement.

Adolescence and young adulthood are crucial periods when many young men disengage from healthcare, despite establishing patterns of behaviour that can influence their long-term health.

The research shows even brief consultations can leave a long-lasting impression on young men.

Curiosity, patience and compassion

Approaching young men with curiosity, patience and compassion may be one of the most effective ways to improve engagement. 

Compassion is a clinically powerful tool that can shape whether young men return, disclose more, and see healthcare spaces as safe. 

In a time when much of the discourse about young men and help seeking can be deficit‑focused, this strength-focused approach provides a grounded, evidence‑based perspective, giving clinicians something they can do differently in their consulting rooms. 

Young men will rarely give the clinicians this feedback directly but even a short positive interaction can have a big impact on the young person's trajectory and make it much more likely they will seek help again in the future. 

Far from being disempowered, clinicians have a tremendous opportunity to leave a lasting positive impact on a young man’s life simply by being attentive, validating, and compassionate.

Robert Palmer is a registered psychologist and a PhD candidate at the Prevention Research Collaboration and the Charles Perkins Centre, University of Sydney. His PhD was supported by a scholarship funded by the Men of Malvern and Healthy Male.His work focuses on improving help-seeking among young men, drawing on both research and clinical experience in youth mental health settings. 

Sophie Scott is an Adjunct Professor with the Prevention Research Collaboration at the University of Sydney. She is a multi-award winning journalist, speaker and author. Her work focuses on health, communication, storytelling and the science of wellbeing. She has 4 young adult sons.

The authors do not work, consult or own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article.